I originally wrote this post for my bodyworker colleagues. But then i thought that it probably can be applied to many others. Do random people tend to open up to you and blurt out all their problems? Are you the friend everyone leans on? Do you pick up on the energies around you? There may be some tips in here for you.
Some of my bodyworker colleagues have recently become more aware of picking up energies/emotions from others. I’ve dealt with this a lot in my career, and here are some of my tips. Do you have any other strategies for dealing with this? What works for you?
1. Be Emotionally Neutral.
If you are emotionally invested in something, your energy tends to get entwined. I’ve learned to be careful when working on my dad. When he’s in pain, I really really really want to fix it so that he’s not. I start thinking about how much I love him, how old he’s getting, how he’ll die eventually, and how I’ll feel without him around. Suddenly the bodywork isn’t as much about him as it is about my relationship with him.
I’ve also gotten triggered when I work on someone who’s having pain similar to something I’ve experienced. I remember my past pain, imagine how they must feel, start hoping it will never reoccur in me… Suddenly I’m in the story again! The massage isn’t just about the client anymore.
We are compassionate beings, but we need to be Neutral Compassionate. I was shocked when one of my teachers said she was “unattached to the outcome” of someone she was demonstrating on. I was shocked! “I’m a compassionate healer, I really really want them to feel amazing after their treatment,” I thought. Now I realize her wisdom. I realize that my ego gets wrapped up in the outcome. Of course I want the client to feel better, but the truth is that it is up to their body to heal itself. I can apply all my knowledge and techniques that I can, but I am just jump-starting their healing. It’s not up to me to decide what their healing path should look like. It’s important not to let your Healer’s Ego get in the way. Am I measuring my worth by how people feel afterwards?
2. Acknowledge and Release. Thank your body for the information, release with breath. The other day I noticed that I was feeling sadness. As there was no reason for me to be sad then, I ignored it. The sadness persisted. Finally, I got tired of it and decided to delve deeper. Was this sadness mine? No, it didn’t feel like it. I acknowledged that I WAS feeling it though instead of ignoring it. I thanked my body for this extra information – many people around me were sad. Then I released the feeling with several deep breaths. Soon I started feeling normal again.
3. Clear Your Energy. This can be done MANY different ways, just find what works for you. Here are some I’ve used: breath work, visualizing myself under a waterfall, taking a shower, smudging, crystal healing, grounding in nature, taking a walk, journaling, meditation, yoga, prayer, etc.
If you’re still having trouble with energetic boundaries, please contact me. I offer Mentoring and Energywork for this. In person or over the phone. A Transformational Bodywork session can help!